


painkillers talk

by cliche_username



Category: ONF (Band)
Genre: Car Accidents, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Slash (?), just people being emotional honestly, t for some swearing, working title: anesthesia and tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:00:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25437322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cliche_username/pseuds/cliche_username
Summary: After a fight, Seungjoon nearly loses his mind when he gets the call that Hyojin is in the hospital.
Relationships: Kim Hyojin & Lee Seungjoon | J-Us
Comments: 9
Kudos: 64





	painkillers talk

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [this emotion (that can't be expressed in words)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25417630) by [instantlove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/instantlove/pseuds/instantlove). 



> I read this lovely little fic today and honestly, when I read "canon divergence" and "truth serum" my first thought was the "character is high off their ass in the hospital" trope, so when the fic didn't wind up being that I thought I'd just write it myself. more cake, right? it wound up being... slightly angstier than the standard anesthesia trope... 
> 
> I might write another section of this later, might not, just wanted to post it so I didn't forget or overthink the whole ordeal. I'm a baby Fuse but Best Friends For Over A Decade is a trope I Vibe with so HyoJ was immediately it. Tho it threw me for a loop that Seungjoon... doesn't call Hyojin hyung?? ever? I'm pretty sure Hyojin's like a year older but Seungjoon is always speaking familiarly to him in ONF content. I overthought their dialogue A Lot based on that but Hey
> 
> anyway that was a lot of words for a oneshot less than 2k. glad to be here, enjoy!!

It’s weird how much can be said with just a couple of words. The last eighteen hours of Seungjoon’s life, for example, can be summarized in a set of short sentences other people have said to him.

Hyojin, last night.  _ Get the hell out. _

Hyojin. This morning, over text.  _ I said not now, Joon-ah. _

Manager-hyung, this morning.  _ I’ll be out with Hyojin at his schedule, behave yourselves. _

A faceless hospital receptionist, two minutes ago,  _ I’m calling on behalf of Kim Hyojin--  _

There were other things too, things so inconsequential that they flew past Seungjoon’s ears and were lost direct to long-term memory. None of those moments occur to him as he flies down the stairs from the practice room, shoes half on, hat flying off, wallet-keys-call someone to drive him to the hospital, the others are calling after him and clattering down the stairs, why the stairs? Easier than waiting in an elevator. Seungjoon pushes the door to the lobby open and stumbles out, looks out the front window, feels the moment sit for a moment. He’s missing something. He doesn’t want to sit in a car right now. He’d run straight from here to the hospital right now if he didn’t know it would take more time, and Seoul’s already had it out against one member of ONF today, let’s not give it another.

Seoul.

Hospital.

_ Hyojin. _

_ Shit shit shit shit -  
_

“Hyung,” someone says in his ear, and he nearly clocks them in the side in surprise. It’s just Yuto, looking all pinched with worry. Seungjoon forces himself to un-tense just a little, but he can’t say or express anything that might make Yuto feel better, not when all he knows is--

“Seungjoon-ah!” and that’s manager-noona, Seungjoon hopes it wasn’t her day off, that would be awful, even if she’d need to be called in because manager-hyung’s in the hospital, they’re both in the hospital, Hyojin’s in the hospital--

Seungjoon keeps himself from running full-tilt at manager-noona, but just barely. She leads him - and the others, behind him, murmuring and fussing - out of the building and into a car, onto the road, into the streets of Seoul. Jaeyoung reaches his hands over the back of the passenger seat and squeezes Seungjoon’s shoulders, a little grounding, a kindness, but Seungjoon still feels like he’s going to explode. The sitting still as the car goes a little and a little more and a little more and his thoughts run at about a thousand kilometers an hour is almost unbearable. 

He should tell the others something. They only know what he managed to say on his way out the door -  _ Hyojin’s in the hospital -  _ but they followed him anyway, and they’re murmuring in the backseat as the ride goes on. He should tell the others something, anything, but he doesn’t have any words to give them. When he called noona, it was all he could manage to get out the words,  _ need to get to the hospital, it’s Hyojin and manager-hyung.  _ Thank God that had been enough.

He feels himself tensing to take off as the car finally slows and stops outside the hospital doors. Jaeyoung releases his shoulders, finally, and withdraws to undo his seat belt, and Seungjoon forces himself to be still long enough to undo his own and climb calmly out of the car. There are no cameras around - no one has any reason to think ONF would be making an appearance at the hospital, which is probably good news for PR - and he has a moment to stand on the sidewalk and gear himself for the moments to come. Hyojin is in there, in a hospital bed or an operating room or somewhere else, and - 

He shakes his head and watches as the other members climb out of the car. Changyoon-hyung, Jaeyoung, Yuto, Minkyun. Minkyun hadn’t even been in the practice room with them, someone must have called him on their way out. That was… that was good. Good that they’re all here. They’re all shuffling around, those who hadn’t been wearing masks putting them on -

\- oh, right. Masks. 

Masks?

Seungjoon pats all his pockets again, phone-wallet-keys-mask? If he hasn’t got a mask - 

Yuto catches his arm and presses a folded piece of fabric into his hand, and Seungjoon feels a bit of his composure unravel. Yuto’s grip is gentle, and he’s still got that pinched look of concern on his face, and Seungjoon still has nothing to say but -

“Thank you,” he whispers, and puts on the mask. The corner of Yuto’s mouth slides up a little bit, but it’s not really a smile. Seungjoon pulls his arm free and takes a long, deep breath and leads the way inside.

The moments between speaking to a receptionist and being sent to a waiting room, between the waiting and being called back to a private room further back in the depths of the hospital, blur. There are a lot of moments. Whatever happened on the streets of Seoul that sent Hyojin and manager-hyung here, it sent them both to the operation room and it is over an hour of waiting before a nurse tells them that Hyojin is in recovery. Seungjoon spends the hour pacing until he finds it difficult to stand up, and the rest of the hour sitting with his knees pressed to his chest in one of the unforgiving hospital chairs watching but not watching the others. They fidget and worry but it doesn’t seem to pull them apart at the seams. Or if it does, they manage to hold each other together. When they’re called back to Hyojin’s recovery room, the others surge ahead, jostling and murmuring, and Seungjoon -

If he goes in a room with Hyojin right now, he  _ will  _ cry. Hyojin, laid up, a couple of hours out from an accident that he needed surgery for, should not have to deal with that on top of everything else.

He hesitates at the door as the others crowd in, murmuring their  _ hello _ s and  _ had-us-so-worried _ s and all the other soft, nice things you say to someone in a hospital bed, and Seungjoon listens, and from inside the room he hears his hyung’s voice carry over the rest,

“Where’s Seungjoonie? I need to see Seungjoonie. Seungjoonie!”

Minkyun turns and looks back at him, and must see something awful written all over Seungjoon’s face because he murmurs to the other members and they pull back. Yuto gives Hyojin a hug - if he’s hugging it can’t be too bad, right? - and they all file out. Minkyun stops long enough to gently shove him in the door. 

What is - ah. Seungjoon wipes the moisture off his cheeks and pulls off his mask and takes the next few steps into the room, forcing himself to look at Hyojin. Hyojin is laid up, and his face is scraped up a bit and he’s wearing one of those awful gowns and he’s hooked up to several machines, but he’s sitting up a little and his eyes are bright. The nurse had said he was still on painkillers, right? He should be feeling okay? Seungjoon expects an overdramatic sigh, a  _ so-here-we-are  _ and a rueful smile, maybe a quick, reassuring hand squeeze if Hyojin’s feeling generous. Instead -

“Hey, Hyojinnie,” Seungjoon murmurs as he reaches the bedside, and Hyojin reaches out and reels him into a bone-crushing hug. Seungjoon lands half-on, half-off the mattress, arms around Hyojin’s shoulders, and he feels Hyojin’s fingers pressing into his back, Hyojin’s face in the crook of his neck. They stay there for a long moment, two moments, three moments, and Hyojin lets out a long sigh. Seungjoon feels the expanding of his chest and the puff of air on his own shoulder.

“How are you feeling?” He finally asks, when the moment feels like it’s settled. He cards his fingers through Hyojin’s hair - it’s surprisingly clean. No debris or - Seungjoon represses a shudder - blood.

Hyojin sighs again. “I’m alright,” he murmurs. “I’m not in pain right now. The nurses said they gave me a lot of painkillers. I expected it to be worse, I - remember it was ugly. When the accident happened. It hurt a lot.”

There are so many things Seungjoon could say.  _ You were in surgery for over an hour. You scared the shit out of me. You could have died.  _ He bites his lip on all of them and says, “You’re alright now. I’m glad you’re not in pain.”

Hyojin hums. “Are you alright? You were crying.”

Were? Seungjoon lets go just enough to wipe the moisture off his face again, but Hyojin lets go the rest of the way and frowns up at him. There’s a cut over his eyebrow that will probably scar. Seungjoon slides off the edge of the bed and Hyojin catches his hand, holding it in both of his. “Seungjoon-ah,” he says, “I’m sorry we fought.”

“Hyojinnie,” Seungjoon protests, but Hyojin shakes his head.

“I am, I’m sorry, I’m sorry we didn’t talk about it earlier. Today was scary but when I was -” he swallows. “When I was there in that moment the scariest part was I thought I wasn’t going to see you again and you’d just remember me being angry and then gone and I  _ knew,  _ I knew how much that would hurt and in that moment I just - I was praying so hard, I just wanted to be able to see you again.” His voice catches once, twice, three times, and two bright tears cut paths down the sides of his face. “I’m so sorry and I don’t care if it’s the painkillers talking, Seungjoonie, I really,  _ really  _ love you and I don’t want to fight anymore--”

“Hyojinnie,” Seungjoon whispers, hoarse, and he can  _ feel  _ his voice shaking, “Hyojinnie, I forgave you ages ago. We were both just being stupid and I know that. And I -” it’s so weird to say the words  _ back  _ to Hyojin, no cameras, no play-pretending for someone else. Just his best friend. “- I love you too. I do. And I swear if you  _ ever  _ scare me like that again, I’ll -” 

He loses it there as he bursts into tears.

Hyojin lets go of his hands and pulls him back onto the mattress, and they fall into an awkward tangle of too-skinny arms and legs and Seungjoon’s head rests on Hyojin’s shoulder and Hyojin’s head rests on his, and it seems that both of them are shedding tears as hours of stress unravel in Seungjoon’s chest and he cries and cries.

“It’s okay,” Hyojin manages to say at one point. “We’re okay. We’re all okay.”

Okay. Okay.


End file.
